The Vampire Diaries: Interview With Joseph Hajek

Making music and brainwashing the masses is Joseph Hajek, the subject of this interview.

Jul 28, 2022

This is one crazy interview. It should be a short story! But, what the heck? I guess this is the home of crazy interviews.

The subject of this interview is Joseph, a musician. For once, I’m not L. Sojini but Roy. All the same, I never said half the things I said in this interview.

To dismiss this interview as crazy is to dismiss the important issues that Joseph addresses. But is The Musician the right place to discuss them? I doubt, but we’ll file the interview in case the FBI needs it.

Velcome, please vash your neck before you come in.

There's Radon in the basement. Yeah, that's why. It tends to sink to ground level, so it's best to make sure you clean it off your skin before it accumulates. It's very complicated nuclear physics.

Anyway... let's get to the interview.

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ROY: Can you tell us about yourself? Where you’re from and what kind of musician you are.

JOSEPH: That's a lot of questions for one question. Yes, I can try to explain these things.

I was technically born here in America. My mother already lived here, and her family is mostly Irish Celtic who immigrated here several generations before that, so that's about an 8-ball to a quarter of Leprechaun DNA in the hive genetics now.

That's also where I get my American accent and nationality, so to speak. The politics are complicated, but I can very much be 'American' at any time. I already am.

As for my father, he came here more recently from the old Soviet Union around Czechiaslovenski. Czechoslovakia, it's.. the Czech Republic and Slovakia, Hungarian and Austro-German. It used to all be part of the Austro-Hungarian empire.

We're still 'slavs', it's… yes, it's basically the most complicated, convoluted Heinz 57 genetic shit-mix that we know of.

As far as 'race' goes.., we're basically every European race in one. Latin, Arabian, Saxon, even Mongol, or… Hun… Hungarian. Exactly.

Some people think the whole 'master race' thing was about purity... no, it's the opposite. Some people did think that, but anyone thinking more logically knew better. It's just something we like to joke about now, but realistically... if we can consume all of your genetic material and add it to our Zerg Hive colony, that's why we can blend into your society so easily.

You might get the idea, we can go in either direction, Czechia or Slovenski. We're German and Russian, Communist and Nazi, these two terms are… basically the same thing. Socialism, that's all it really means.

Clearly we did some very stupid things not too long ago... but it was just that. Negligence. Lack of planning. Careless recklessness, and the panic that results from having no options left.

I encourage you to judge the situation for what it is, I just hope you realize... most of us did not 'hate' these other people. Not in the way many people think. That specific conflict is not part of the philosophy, it's something that came about during other conflict.

Again, a result of negligence which lead to panic. It's no more part of the actual philosophy than, say… arresting Mohinder at the airport after 9/11. You probably get it.

You've been through this yourself, and to be fair, you did handle it better than we did. I do appreciate it. For us… them at the time, they were scared, and felt threatened and surrounded by different groups that they lacked any means of properly managing.

They could have done many other things, but we already know how bad this sort of negligence can get. Once you have no options left… exactly. I still judge the actions, but not the motives of the common soldiers who were already involved in more conflict than they could handle at the time.

Most of us do what we can to at least offer some sympathy to their descendants. In many cases… the younger offspring of our old enemies are actually quite curious to hear what we know about it, and so are we about how they perceive it.

Their parents only know so much, and… well, either of us would have more stubborn parents who would be less open minded about these things. Each generation is another opportunity to bridge that gap again, it's happening right now.

As for my Austrian Opera... welcome to the show. I already enjoy the art form, so when I approached it, this is what came naturally to me. This is the story I have to tell, so I am. It might include orchestra, theatre, etcetera, but it's all the same opera. This is why we like operas, and why you still watch soap operas. You at least know and remember them, probably much more clearly than your old history class.

Everyone knows Star Wars. You know Darth Vader... exactly. Even if you don't know anything about history, or any country... you do know everything about Star Wars. Opera indeed. You might understand. Well, this is my opera, currently in the stage of orchestra. It's a good lure, hooks the fish onto the rod before you catch them.

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ROY: I… see. Interesting. Uh... how did you get into music?

JOSEPH: Well, I've always enjoyed listening to music, but I had no great passion for it as an art form. Even now... it's somewhat utility.

If I could just explain all this in one lecture, I would. I have, and... no one really absorbs it. It's not… an opera. Exactly.

They need... hypnosis in order to subliminally absorb my propaganda into their brains like a dry sponge. Ask Freud why it works, I just know it does.

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ROY: What do you think makes good music?

JOSEPH: Hypnosis. Whatever causes a trance, or makes one lost in thought. The easier they are to manipulate in their unwaking state of coma... the more effective it is. Then you can be talking about the Big Mac when you hear Ba da bu ba ba... Mac the Donalds. You already want burgers. Exactly.

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ROY: This sounds more like a cult than anything else. What are your strengths and weaknesses as a musician?

JOSEPH: My strength? Opera. The story, the words... that is the opera. Everything else is just the brainwashing part. Utility.

My weakness... no, it's not silver. We encourage the myth so that anyone who tries to use it against us comes unprepared. You could have just brought a machine gun, but... most people don't seem to think that would work. I'm not sure why.

As for the 'music'... I have almost no interest in the tangent culture that surrounds it. Sort of like smoking the fat doobies. I love the dank weed, but that's about all I need from it. I don't need... 'High Times' magazines, I can't roll the hundred dollar blunts with those.

The culture that surrounds the fat doobies, the magazines and stoner movies... it has absolutely no appeal to me as part of that same experience.

I just wanted the marijuana joints, that's what it is for me, like the music. I enjoy discussing the art with other artists, or even critics who apply their craft well, but as for 'bands', or anything regarding celebrity... I'm mostly ignorant of those details, by choice. It simply bores me.

If I enjoy your music, then I'm already hypnotized, you see. I'll find a way to find more, like the doobies. Exactly. If that didn't work, if it was bunk schwaggy leaf weed, then it won't work. I won't be wanting the Big Macs or the fat doobies. You start to understand.

So yes, if anyone would want me to understand any cultural tangent to any of this popular music.,. look for someone who is that sort of trivia nerd for it. The only ones I know are the ones that were hypnotic enough to be soaked into my brain already.

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ROY: That's actually pretty cool. Do you… have more fat doobies? You do?? Uh... we don't need to spark it up right now… okay, I guess we do. Uh... What are you currently working on?

[Eds note: I didn’t ask this question!]

JOSEPH: The opera, of course. I'm still trying to explain these basic ignorances surrounding the war in Europe right now. We've hit a bit of a conundrum, you might see.

If Nazis fight communists... well, whose side are you on? The communists or the Nazis? If you hate both of us, all of us... you will find yourself with less and less options. We already know what that can do.

People need to understand these distinctions, otherwise, this will soon lead to the same panic that caused the same problem before. Surrounded by scary enemies with no one else to turn to for help. Burn every bridge, then you have nowhere else to go. We still have some bridge, some of this doobie... we better be very baked like the Cheech and the Chong before it goes out. You understand, I think.

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ROY: Uh... sort of, yeah. I do get what you're saying, I'm just... not sure how to approach it. It's a lot to tackle all at once. How do you approach music? As in, what’s your philosophy when it comes to making music?

JOSEPH: Opera. The music is just a machine I use to induce Torpor before I indoctrinate the subject with my communist Nazi propaganda. I know how that sounds... but in the end, people want the fat doobies, the Big Macs, once they see the McDonald’s tell them this, that is their philosophy. I have more fat doobies, but we can only smoke so many of these before we run out of the Big Macs. All I can say is... the music, again, is simply a utility. A tool, a canvas that I can use to lace propaganda into my opera. It just needs to sound good, the fat beats, the fat doobies... you understand, I hope.

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ROY: Yeah, I think so. What are you most proud of to have achieved as a musician?

JOSEPH: Well.. I didn't expect to feel so good simply for creating someone's favorite song... that you already do understand.

I'm glad to have made some progress brainwashing everyone, but when someone tells you that your song is their new favorite… it did cause a slight increase in my stagnant blood vessels. It was more pleasing to hear than I might have expected.

Not many say this, but even just a few, it... reminds me that I'm not completely insane. Partially, of course, but if I was completely out of sorts, I don't think anyone would be that hypnotized. Whatever I did, it worked.

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ROY: Holy shit, this is some dank weed, dude. How do you promote your music?

JOSEPH: Spam, I think they call it. You can do this yourself, sharing your work with others, posting to forums, different platforms… many people say that's a sleazy way of doing things. Spam is bad.

What you should do... is pay someone to purchase an audience. You've seen this, yes? So and so just purchased eight thousand followers. That is the 'honorable' method, which is exactly why I have no interest in that sort of popular art industry.

It very much is an industry. I just need the fat doobies. You seem to like them too. You might even be brainwashed to help me, but that at least has... some integrity. A business plan between associates, as opposed to mass scale prostitution. We're all prostitutes, but I pick my clients carefully.

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ROY: I guess we are, yeah. Favorite musician? Why?

JOSEPH: Marshal Mathers. That's... Eminem, the Slim Shady who told you his name is… what. The real slim shady, you know this, he brainwashed the entire world when I was a child.

I was impressed. He makes an exquisite opera, even if it seems like it's just thug life... it can be, but even he might appreciate the opera. It was definitely a large portion of my influence.

The other portion would be… Andre Nickatina, Nicky Nicky, Frisco Bay? He makes the cocaine songs, but his most famous single, ‘Ayo for Yayo’… it was his least impressive work. I enjoyed almost all of it, but that one song... never appealed to me, even if I did have some of the cocaine myself. Like the doobies, I don't need the high times magazine to roll the blunt.

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ROY: I think I've heard of him. Or.. I heard the cocaine song, but that's about it. So, his one hit wonder was the one hit that... wasn't really a hit? Interesting. What’s your advice or message to fellow musicians?

JOSEPH: You can lie to everyone around you... but not yourself. If you want fame, money, the big titty bitches... we all want something. I might want one, or... two perhaps, but I'm realistic about planning orgies.

Two is better than most can organize. It's a secret to any success. Not just having a 'goal', but… goals that make sense, that you at least understand. If you can logically progress from the money, the power, the women... right. You can have these things, but if you have no plan, if you just want all the cocaine right now... that's basically what happened to Chris Farley.

He was funny, I liked him, but he wanted all the cocaine, and he died. You need to at least have goals that are manageable. You can reach the top of a ladder, but only by climbing the rungs in between. Don't just... expect that someone else will hand you all this. If they do... they probably want to have sex with you as well. Keep these things in mind, you can get fucked in many more ways than one, with or without the orgy.

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ROY: I think I might actually agree. Can you recommend one musician you’ve worked with that The Musician can interview next? You can share their Twitter handle.

JOSEPH: Like I said... this is my weakness. I do know some musicians, we speak about the theory, but in practice... it's my opera. There's only one puppet master behind these strings... this guy. Straight up.

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Writing Lyrics That Save Lives And Inspire: An Interview With Dramatiq

The songwriter and producer from Dallas talks about his musical journey.

Dramatiq was born and raised in Dallas, Texas. He says he grew up in a church, where he had Bishop T.D. Jakes as a mentor.

One Christmas he received a clarinet as a present, and when somebody from church heard him play a beat he had made accidentally, they would for their own beats.

His strength, he says, is music theory. And he says that he wants to write lyrics that saves lives, motivate and inspire.

L. SOJINI: Can you tell us about yourself? Where you’re from and what kind of musician you are.

DRAMATIQ: I was born and raised in Dallas, Tx. Grew up in the church with Bishop T.D. Jakes as a mentor to me at a teen and travel everywhere he went and I ministered in the youth Step Team, Hip Hop Dance Team, Drama Team and Mime.

I specialize in producing and songwriting R&B, Hip hop and pop genre.

L. SOJINI: How did you get into music?

DRAMATIQ: I first got into music at the Potter's House church. I did Christian Rap and got a chance to minister on DayStar Tv. I got a Casio keyboard for Christmas one year and I didn't know what I was doing but was always in music in school playing the clarinet so I understood theory.

I accidentally made a nice beat playing by ear and a group of us used it to minister at the church and then after that many would come ask who produced it and would ask me to produce a beat for them. A friend from the church made a statement that my beats was cinematic and very dramatic and that’s where I got my name from. I had to spell it with a ‘q’ because it was a DJ Dramatic but he usually went by Drama. I still sent him a courtesy message on social media letting him know I respectfully spelled it different.

L. SOJINI: What do you think makes good music?

I think good music is something that can jump inside people and move them. A good music will touch emotions and that's is why I songwrite. I want to write lyrics to help save a life, a relationship or just motivate and inspire.

L. SOJINI: What are your strengths and weaknesses as a musician?

DRAMATIQ: My strengths are the knowledge of theory from being in the band from middle school through high school. My networking skills has gain me a lot of big legends in the music industry that also has helped me progress. My weaknesses is being an introvert along with having PTSD from the military. I tend to tense up and be inside my head a lot around a lot of people and you have to be able to talk to people. That's why I'm hoping to get a manager that does the talking and business talks for me very soon.

L. SOJINI: What are you currently working on?

DRAMATIQ: I'm currently A&R for industry ready beats to songwrite to. I want to build up a roster of ready songs with demo vocals to present to a few publishing companies to try to get a publishing deal to get placements on more major artist projects.

L. SOJINI: How do you approach music? As in, what’s your philosophy when it comes to making music?

DRAMATIQ: I approach music like a film. I try to brainstorm topics people are currently struggling with and then come up with a short story.

Once I have the story I figure out words that are associated with the story and topic. I then paint a picture with lyrics making sure it has build-ups, climaxes and emotion grabbers.

L. SOJINI: What are you most proud of to have achieved as a musician?

DRAMATIQ: I am so happy to have had a chance to release a song with the Empire label. I follow Ghazi very close and he's very caring about helping people with their craft.

I was excited when I got news that a song I co-produced with Hollywood Cobain made it on J Haze and Chromeazz song project called ‘Feelings Hurt’ to be released through Empire.

L. SOJINI: How do you promote your music?

DRAMATIQ: I do a lot of social media posts and I make a lot of attention grabbing graphics. I sometimes run contests for people to win Cashapp money or a chance for varies prizes. I also get help from big social media influencers to post or repost info about projects.

L. SOJINI: Favourite musician? Why?

DRAMATIQ: I really love Swizz Beats and Timbaland. They have some crazy drum patterns that hits hard and always gets the crowd or club hype.

They've also made a business during the pandemic that gave many of us something to do to take our minds of the negative vibes that was going around at the time causing darkness. It was a classic to bring together legends and battle it out for fun to entertain us.

L. SOJINI: What’s your advice or message to fellow musicians?

DRAMATIQ: I would say when you feel like giving up go even harder. When you see the finish line, push passed it. If you ever feel overwhelmed never be ashamed of taking a break just try to take a long one because your craft fades as it sits and waits for you.

L. SOJINI: Can you recommend one musician you’ve worked with that The Musician can interview next? You can share their Twitter handle.

DRAMATIQ: Hollywood Cobain would be a producer or artist I'd recommend. He works really hard and has had a lot of great placements. He has a dope album project he made as an artist and I think it could use some extra eyes on it to promote in a blog. @HollywoodCobain.

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